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"I'm all for going down swinging, but you gotta do it the right way. I can't get your eyes back, but at the very least we can take his."
―Ipos to Sheila before fighting the angels[src]
Ipos Kabakoff is a demon who runs a bar called Thirsties. Despite multiple warnings from Heaven over the years telling him to cut contact with Satan, Ipos continues to remain one of his leader's most reliable informants, even as the End of Days draws near. He was also Satan's closest co-conspirator leading up to the Fall.

Appearance Edit

Ipos is tall, broad-shouldered, and very muscular. His skin is a warm, light brown and he is naturally a brunet. Before the Fall, Ipos had a full head of brown hair. Sometime after, he cut most of it off into a mohawk and dyed the strip blond. The shape of his face is long and rectangular. His eyes are thin and almond-shaped, and his irises are a bright amber. His brows are thick and dyed a dark red.

Ipos has two lower lip piercings and three silver cuffs on each ear. On his upper back, he has a tattoo of a winged wheel. In biblical texts, a hundred-eyed wheel is the physical form Ophanim angels take around the throne of God. It can be assumed Ipos was a part of this celestial order before the Fall.

Ipos's horns are a violet-to-orange gradient, and are shaped like a ram's horns. He also has claws that glow a flaming purple, with yellow at the claw tips.

Ipos also has a large, jagged scar across his chest that he normally covers up. He received this wound during the Fall from his former commander Archangel Jophiel, per Archangel Michael's request of all defectors being treated as traitors. While angels and demons can heal themselves and erase scarring from their bodies, Ipos chose to keep his.

Personality Edit

True to accounts of him in the Lesser Key of Solomon, Ipos is an extremely elusive demon. He is organized and well-versed in running businesses. He has opened numerous establishments over the centuries, all of which fronted as harmless human ventures, and most of which remained undiscovered by Heaven. Ipos never stays in one place too long, and has never been known as an easy person to find.

Because of Ipos's social prowess and wanderlust, he has been able to travel the world and create a massive underground network of informants and spies, mostly used to aid Satan's victory in the End. Ipos also does his own personal share of collecting information for Satan's cause. He rules out possible dangers or hindrances for Satan while also finding openings or possible deals that he can make to skew the win in their favor.

Like Satan, Ipos despises humans and sees them as lesser beings. He feels kinship solely toward angels and demons. Ipos has proved his loyalty indisputable toward his Fallen family and friends. He has been informing Satan for years despite knowing the repercussions that come with defying Heaven's laws, and stood unwavering in the face of his death sentence.

History Edit

Father'spride

Ipos introducing himself to Satan in Heaven

Ipos first met Satan under Jophiel's command in Heaven. Ipos was eager to start contributing to God's army even before his official training under Jophiel began. He asked Satan if he could help search for the culprit who ruined the Garden of Eden.[1] When asked by Satan who he thought the perpetrator was, Ipos admitted that he was suspicious of Satan, since he had heard that the perpetrator was wounded on the leg by a guard before escaping, and Ipos noticed that Satan has been limping. Satan confirmed that Ipos was correct, fully expecting him to be shocked and consider him a traitor. To Satan's surprise, Ipos was instead relieved to hear that someone as high-ranking as Satan shared the same hateful sentiments about humans. Ipos and Satan became close friends and began to plan out the rebellion against Heaven. During the Fall, Ipos helped direct the other angels out, and received a large scar across his chest from his own commander Jophiel in the process.[2]

After falling, Ipos devoted his life to learning more about humans and keeping tabs on everything. He enlisted in the military at one point to gain more a more widespread knowledge about them. He spent a lot of time traveling around the world and visiting various places along the way. During the 18th or 19th century he stayed in Ireland, where he officially met Sheila Seelendfreund. Sheila joined him on his journey and the two ran a number of different establishments together in order to keep up with important rumors that could potentially help Satan during the End of Days.[3]

Plot Edit

Beeswax

Ipos meets Natalie McAllister ordering a drink at his bar

Ipos is first introduced at his bar, Thirsties, when Natalie McAllister attempts to buy a drink. After eavesdropping on her order, he mocks her for being a naive, underage human. Ipos encourages her to down her drink and because Natalie does not hold her alcohol well, she immediately gets a heavy buzz. Ipos tries to coax information out of her while she is in her drunken state, and asks why she is here and who she is with. Natalie does not budge, but she does tell Ipos that her name is Natalie and that she has some business in the back of his establishment.[4]

Ipos calls Sheila Seelendfreund over to show Natalie the way to the back, even though he knows very well who Natalie is and that she has no reason to be back there. Natalie ends up in the middle of a fighting ring, and is introduced to her competitor Pax Madan. Ipos makes his way to the back during Natalie's fight, and engages in a brief conversation with Satan, saying that this would be the optimal time to chat since Natalie would not prove to be a distraction while she was in the ring. Satan begs to differ, and implies to Ipos that he and Natalie's contract has reached the point where they feel each other's pain. After learning this, Ipos immediately calls off the fight.[5]

Ipos takes Satan and Natalie to a more private room to discuss what Lucifer came for. After Natalie tries explaining why she did not follow Satan's orders to stay put, Satan yells at her for her foolishness. After the two settle down, Ipos asks Satan if "all the drama is squared away" before giving him information on War's whereabouts. They conclude that War is the easiest Horseman to sway, and Natalie and Satan go on their way. Outside the door, Gabriel eavesdrops on the conversation with a cap over his eyes. He has listened to the entire conversation and later informs Archangel Michael of Ipos' underground business, prompting him to send other archangels down to handle the situation.[6]

Downswinging

Ipos in his demon form before fighting Uriel and Chamuel

Sometime after hours, Pax comes by Thirsties to deliver Ipos his mail. One of his letters reads that one of Ipos' informants saw two people fitting Satan and Natalie's descriptions in Oregon. Sheila praises Satan for getting there so quickly, but Ipos says that it is nothing praise-worthy and that their leader is just taking minimal risks. As Ipos and Sheila talk, the archangels Uriel and Chamuel, plus a few other low-rank angels under their command enter the bar. They issue Ipos and Sheila their death sentences on the grounds of giving aid to Satan during the End of Days, despite being told multiple times by Heaven to stop. Ipos and Sheila are well aware they stand no chance against two archangels, and yet they still go down swinging. They are ultimately killed by Uriel's light after he blows up the entire bar.[7]

Relationships Edit

  • Sheila Seelendfreund - The two have been both friends and business partners for centuries. Ipos cares for Sheila immensely, and seems to take slights to her disability more personally than she does.
  • Pax Madan - While Ipos tolerates Pax and enjoys his business, he considers him to be a nuisance more than anything.
  • Satan - Ipos is extremely loyal to Satan and the two are very close. He was Lucifer's first supporter and has always been willing to go great lengths for him.

Quotes Edit

Angel: "W-What are we supposed to do now? Do we... do we still jump?"
Ipos: "...Go. Fall, I mean. We're already considered traitors. Might as well commit to the cause. "
—Ipos falling from grace[src]
"Can I stick my ass in hot water for you already?"
―Ipos to Satan after gathering information on War[src]

"I prayed to Father countless days to fix me. To take these thoughts out of my head. We shouldn't hate His creations. He created us, after all.... but I HATE the humans. That hasn't changed."
―Ipos confessing how he feels about humans to Satan [src]

Sheila Seelendfreund: "Are you trying to go fishing for compliments, Ipos? Because you will need a new rod and reel for that."
Ipos Kabakoff: "Keep talking like that. I'll open up a comedy club after abandoning this place."
—Ipos replying to Sheila Seelendfreund's sarcastic comment[src]

Trivia Edit

  • Ipos Kabakoff is based off of the demon Ipos from the Lesser Key of Solomon. The real Ipos is an information keeper, and the author of Satan and Me has stated that she has tried to keep that true to the comic version of him as well.[3]
    • In the Lesser Key of Solomon, the demon Ipos was known to make people witty and courageous. Ipos Kabakoff's last establishment was a bar called Thirsties. Alcohol is often referred to as "liquid courage", meaning it can make someone funnier or braver if they drink enough.
    • Ipos Kabakoff owns a book that has information on everything and everyone. This includes events and people from the past, present, and future. The book is a nod to the demon Ipos from the Lesser Key of Solomon, who can foretell the future and discern the past.
  • Ipos has a slight Irish accent from his years living in Ireland.[8]
  • Ipos introduced Zoe to Satan.[9]

References Edit

  1. Flashback
  2. Flashback 2
  3. 3.0 3.1 http://thisiskindagross.tumblr.com/post/155509406246/satan-and-me-asks (#14)
  4. Warning
  5. Stop the Fight
  6. Well, Now What?
  7. No Retribution Here
  8. http://thisiskindagross.tumblr.com/post/155509406246/satan-and-me-asks (#30)
  9. What Scares You?

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